Noah sat down in his favorite chair in the lounge room where each evening, he reads his newspaper to catch up on the news.
“There’s not much in this newspaper tonight”, Noah thought to himself. Which, in turn, got him thinking about a whole lot of things.
So he sat quietly, thinking…When all of a sudden “Who said that?” said Noah looking around the room wondering where the voice was coming from.
“Ok who said…”Who said that?” said Noah looking around the room wondering where the voice was coming from.?
Looking perplexed…”Yes I am a bit perplexed aint I?. Now who are you?” said Noah. “And stop saying what I said will ya!”
“Just Stop narrating” said Noah. “Ok that’s it. Who are you?. You aint the narrator are you? Am I some story or something?”
“I must be going mad” said Noah.
Narrator: “Hmm this is strange. So if I assume correctly, you can hear/see what am I writing?”
“Oh this is simply precious” said Noah in a fit of frustration! “There you go again! What do you think Mr Genius?”
“And are you telling me that I am just some story, and yes I said that so you don’t need to write down ‘said Noah’ all the time.”
Then all of a sudden Noah felt tired and wanted to go to bed… “oh no you don’t. You aint getting out of it that easily. I’m not tired, said me”
Narrator: “Well I must admit, I’ve never had any of my characters become ‘aware’ of my existence before, so this is a little new to me too!”
“Well good for you mate. Now what’s the deal? And why did you give me such a stupid name – why not ‘Brian’ or something?”
Narrator: “There’s nothing wrong with Noah for a name! I could make you into a Wombat if like and call you Wally.”
Narrator: “Look, if it helps, just plug your ears so I can get on with this story”
“Oh well excuse me! So I am just some story character huh! So I don’t really exist. Hey can you see what I can see?”
Narrator: “I have to cut in here Noah. Yes you do exist, you are as real as you want to be! And what can you see?
“Well I’m just looking out the window, there is a cute blonde walking her dogs – nice puppies!”
Narrator: “Ok stop that! It’s night time and you can’t see anything out of your window so stop making stuff up!”
“See you don’t like it do ya hotshot!” yeah yeah, said me!
Narrator: “How can we fix this?”
Noah thought for a moment. “Yeah yeah I’m thinking, give me a minute. Hmm ok, here’s the deal! You can keep on writing about me if you give me a nice fast sports car and it has to be red, a swimming pool and lots of money so I don’t have to go to work and in return I’ll just ignore you. Deal? Oh and put something clever in the newspaper will ya.
Narrator: “Sounds fair”.
“Ok then, and one more thing. When can I stop being just a bunch of words and become a real cartoon at least?”
Narrator: “Well I can’t draw.”
“Well pick up a pencil and start learning… Guess that’s going to take a long time…Ok, give me the car, pool and money and let’s get going.”
Narrator: ” And you’ll stop listening in?”
“Promise, cross my heart and all that other stuff.”
Narrator: “ok then, starting………….now!”
Noah woke up the next morning covered by his newspaper, that had a whole lot of really good stories in it but Noah must have been too tired and didn’t see them.”
“There wasn’t any!”
Narrator: “Hey you promised.”
“Sorry said me, the most wonderful character in this story and not some loser narrator bloke.”
Noah got up and decided to go for a drive in his brand new shiny (bitch about that!) red sports car and took it for a drive.
When he came home he pulled into the driveway, but because he was being such a CunnyFunt with his ‘show off’ driving the brakes had failed. So he crashed through his garage which started a fire setting the suit cases of money alight and ended up coming to rest in his brand new swimming pool.
Noah smiled, “Guess I’m not the only CunnyFunt around?”
Narrator: “umm nope!”
It was night time and Noah was tired this time and went to bed.
“Night everyone” said Noah
Narrator : “Night Noah, see you on the next adventure. We never did get to the meaning of life question”
“Don’t think I could stand it after all that” said Noah
The next morning Noah woke up and got out of bed….
Then his left leg fell off… Noah didn’t react at all to this. Seems he couldn’t hear any voices after all – it was just a bad dream.
Narrator : “His leg didn’t really fall off I was just testing him”.
Noah wondered why he had such weird dreams about a red submarine ending up in a swimming pool he didn’t have!
“I’m such a CunnyFunt” thought Noah” Which he always will be!
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